On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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