Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
