Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
