Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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