dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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