i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize