If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize