uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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