Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
