what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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