he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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