so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
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no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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