38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
