Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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