I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
