Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
