As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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