my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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