I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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