turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
