he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
