Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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(360): View more from Washington

I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock

Fav 29 1122 1653
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(712): View more from Iowa

The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.

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(817): View more from Texas

i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.

Fav 101 6046 2003
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(305): View more from Florida

So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?

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(563): View more from Iowa

when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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(941): View more from Florida

I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Howd it go?

(1-414): View more from Wisconsin

Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.

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