we have officially lost it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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