go do what you do best...puke behind churches
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
