Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize