I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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