found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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