After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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