eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
