are you still at the devil's house?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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