my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
