4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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