VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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