508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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