Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
