I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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