What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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