im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
