He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
