i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
