so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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