I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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