tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
