I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize