Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
