If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
