i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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