Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
