oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
