We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Found your dick twin last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
