I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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