check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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