i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
