idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
