Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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