I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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