i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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