should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
