Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
