4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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