I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
