Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
