Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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