we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize