I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
