Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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