I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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